A General Description of How You Interact with Others

You are clearly a compassionate person; you believe that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and you know that friends help their friends. But with you compassion is just one side of the coin; the other being a side that also expects others to hold up their end of the bargain. So you help others but it is with the expectation that others don't take advantage of you or try to put one over on you. In short, you expect others to treat you as you treat them.

And for those people who do ask for help when they should have taken responsibility for themselves? This is the time when your more hard-edged side comes out. You are skeptical of people when they expect others to bail them out of trouble; if they got themselves into the bind, they should work their way out of the trouble. If it's an emergency, or if it's a friend who has been there for you when you have had hard times, you are there in a quick minute. But you are a discerning person and to you there is a big difference between an emergency and a self-inflicted wound. You just look at the facts: how the situation developed, how serious the situation, and how they can or cannot get through things on their own. The history you have with the person and with similar situations will inform you whether this is or is not a time for you to get involved.

You also have some limits when it comes to being with people. Sure some people need to be with others all the time and seem to get recharged by helping out most anyone else. But that's not you. You know that you do best if you spend a fair amount of time on your own. Not that you are a loner, just that time spent by yourself is not wasted at all with you. You've come to understand that if you don't take good care of yourself, eventually you'll be not good to anyone, including yourself or others.

So your compassion is tempered by realism. Your sympathy for people in trouble is balanced by a critical evaluation of how they got themselves to the place they are. And you've learned to take good care of yourself, so you have something to give to your friends or others truly in need.

Introduction to Agreeableness

This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning. Some of us are very mindful of others making decisions we hope will be in their best interests, even if it means sometimes neglecting our own interests. Others of us believe each person should be responsible for themselves, taking deep pride in our own character and independence with a firm belief that others are best served by doing the same. The following describes how you engage with others; illustrating the dimension of your personality that determines your independence or your desire to reach out and touch others in meaningful ways.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

You are a cherished companion for those friends who can handle emotions well. They will appreciate the candor with which you express even difficult feelings like anger and fear. Your openness will make intimate conversations even more intimate, and make the connections between you as friends deeper and stronger. Some people who have trouble expressing their feelings might find in you a good example of how to be more vulnerable and more open. Your willingness and ability to share your emotions could encourage them to share theirs, and invite them into ways of being friends that will help enrich their lives.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Undoubtedly you have met some people who get uncomfortable being around you because your feelings are so close to the surface. They may keep a bit of distance, especially around any subject that might trigger an emotional topic they are uncomfortable with. Over time, they might even stay away from you more and more. You will find you have decisions to make; do you temper your style for their comfort or do you hope they will find ways to become more comfortable with emotional expressions? Given the richness that seems to stem from your emotional life the most meaningful response is probably very apparent to you.

Introduction to Emotional Stability

We're born with the capacity to feel deeply, so it's as natural as breathing to experience a range of emotions. Fear and joy and sadness, anger and shame and disgust lie somewhere within each of us. Ah, but to what extent do we control these emotions, and to what extent do they control us? How you answer this question of how your emotions play out in your life has a great deal to do with your levels of personal satisfaction and with the character of your relationships with others. Do you manage your emotions well, keeping them in check with your thinking and your willpower, or are you someone who lets emotions have their way, giving in to the wild dance of feelings? The following paragraphs describe your emotional range in terms of being a person who is emotionally steady or someone who is responsive to whatever feelings swell up in you.

A General Description of Your Reactivity

You are an emotional person. In some ways, we are all emotional; we feel joy, anger, sadness and fear; some of us more powerfully than others - and you more powerfully than most. Your emotions are closer to the surface, and your feelings more obvious to you than is the case with most people. You've got your life in a good place, your dominant mood is upbeat, and unless life has been particularly trying for you, you greatly enjoy the richness and intensity of life that being so open with your emotions brings you.

Sure there are times when your feelings come very close to the surface, and life becomes more complicated. At these times you may grow self-conscious, or feel a bit anxious. But all in all, you much prefer being open with your emotions, breathing in all that life offers, than shutting down any part of your emotional experience. Granted, there may be times when these emotions are hard but you realize that is part of life. And more often than not you feel enriched by your emotions, by your ability to be open to all that life brings you. You know that even when you have those times that get you down, there will be even more times when you see life in ways that others just can't.